Coaching – Who do you think you are?
It’s high summer and the holiday season. Holidays are often when we have time to reflect. We often return thinking we will do things differently. So for my summer update, I wanted to talk about how I work with a clients’ core values in coaching. They’re important to recognise if we want to change or improve how things are now.
But how much do you think you know about your your core values? Our core values are our inner principles that we hold dear. They are what drives us to do what we do, whatever that is in life. If we find ourselves in conflict with our values, it can feel uncomfortable, and can often causes stress. As we become older, and often more confident, we think we know what makes us tick. But in a coaching session, you can be surprised at what drives you to do, or not to do! If you find your vocation, a passion, or you’re in a profession or job which ticks all of your values, then you have found personal freedom. But that’s not the case for many of the coaching clients I work with, which is why they feel they want to make changes.
Our core values are complex
When we are young, our parents teach us their own moral codes of conduct, but as we get older, we become more independent. Think of those rebellious teenagers! As we enter the world and find a job or profession we love, other values become more prominent. For example, ‘working hard’, ‘being recognised professionally’. Values are often contextual. Having a baby can prompt the value of ‘family love’ being important. Developing an illness or losing a loved one can be a time when we re-evaluate who we are, and what we want from life. As we journey through life, we prioritise differently what’s important to us.
I sometimes work with clients whose values are in conflict. They think they want something, but when they really think about it, it might mean ‘giving up’ or compromising on another value. This is why I ask my all my coaching clients how much they really want their goal, and are they prepared to give up to get it. At the start of every coaching relationship, I ask my clients to think about what their values are as these determine how they would like their lives to be, and working with them to visualise what amazing would look like, makes their goal more compelling. We tend to move towards opportunities we perceive to be bigger than the obstacles we might face on the way. As we talk though situations in subsequent sessions, we refer back to their values, and I ask my clients what they notice about themselves. Acknowledging values helps them to develop resilience to situations, manage emotions and improve confidence.
Appreciating that people have different values helps us to foster relationships by pausing to think ‘What might be important to this person?’ If you can begin to see the world from someone else’s point of view, you just might find more in common than you thought!
If you want to harness your values to help you achieve your personal, professional or work goals faster, and gain a better understanding of yourself and others, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to find our more about Coaching with HR Think!
I look forward to hearing from you.